Sexy beast Harvey Weinstein, the love child of Porky Pig and a pineapple, and the secret fantasy of women everywhere, finds himself hospitalized with COVID double pneumonia. In combination with his obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, spinal stenosis, heart failure, and facial fuzz, this would have proved fatal back in the glory days of the COVID pandemic.
It’s not clear how this particular movie will play out, however if it’s true to life, the climax will occur during the opening credits, followed by a denoument that drags out forever in a slow, syphilitic decline.
We don’t know if Harvey has had the jab, but we do know that he gave the jab to others, a horror nearly beyond human comprehension.
Please join me during this sad and solemn occasion, in prayer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that his noodly appendage be fully engorged, and that it be used to penetrate brother Weinstein repeatedly and without consent. Forever and ever, or until he is cured, Ramen.
Ramen!