“Gun Nut” takes on new meaning

2018 Darwin Awards Honorable Mention

Good Guy With a Gun Defends Our Species

(27 Nov 2018, Arizona) The Buckeye Police Department reports that a man accidentally shot his own sausage while shopping in the meat aisle at Walmart. Arizona law does not require a permit (nor a holster for that matter) to carry a firearm, so our hero felt free to carry his piece “commando-style” (unholstered) beneath his waistband. When the unholstered gun drifted down into his jeans, he reached in and pulled the trigger while repositioning his weapon. This loose cannon’s low hanging fruit didn’t have a chance. Firearm supporters can add this event to the arsenal of ammunition against gun control. Guns really do make a difference.

Darwin Award? Odds are, our gun nut (pun intended) shredded his ability to breed and wins the uncommon Living Darwin Award: still alive but unable to reproduce. Otherwise, his reward is an Honorable Mention — “better luck next time.”

Darwin Reader Puns
“His gun was named ‘Lorena’.” -P.Lines
“So he went off half-cocked?” -J.Petry
“Fresh sausage half off!” -P.Hall
“The guy is now a gun nut without nuts. Hopefully he’ll come to enjoy the catheter.” -G.Ely
“After this he will be definitely shooting blanks.” -I.Titi
“His barrel was shortened that day.” -A.Yuan
“Friends call him ‘snubnose’ now.”
“He’s not half the man he used to be.” -D.Webb
“Clean up on Aisle 4.” -M.Miller

 


Story courtesy of The Darwin Awards. Since the purpose of the Darwin Awards is to skewer FAFO behavior, we thought it would be fun to share an occasional entry from them. All content is © The Darwin Awards.

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Perlinator
Famed Member
Perlinator(@perlinator)
1 month ago

The gun man was exercising his Gawd-given Second Amendment right to shoot himself in the Dick Cheney!

Delusionalmale
Member
Delusionalmale(@delusionalmale)
1 month ago

You can have my gun when you pry my cold dead hands
or I blow off my schnitzel…whichever comes first.

HOS
Noble Member
HOS(@hos)
1 month ago

Nuts no more! Funny as hell!!

Avery Voyeur
Noble Member
Avery Voyeur(@avery-voyeur)
1 month ago

Haha, I love it when I read a feel good story. Thanks JGorn!

I’m glad he only injured himself, he could have injured or killed someone else.

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