You got drunk at my birthday party and passed out in the cake
But not before you asked my boss’ wife if her boobs were fake.
We spent a week in the Poconos. You let my car roll off the pier.
Merry Christmas, Asshole.
You’ve ruined another year.
You ordered fifty pairs of boots and you used my bank account.
You took your bonus to the dog races and lost the entire amount.
Then you resigned so you could work full time on your animal balloon career.
Merry Christmas, Asshole.
You’ve ruined another year.
——————————————————————————————
Wish I could take credit but the song is by Brennan Lee
It’s a song in the style of a 1950s country Christmas hit; deserves a place in the top 10.
[Verse 1]
They say that Elon Muskrat owns
One-half of this whole town
With political connections
To spread his wealth around
Born into society
Dad owned an emerald mine
He had everything a man could want
Too bad he had no style
[Chorus]
But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I’m living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be
Oh I wish that I could be
Oh I wish that I could be
Elon Muskrat
[Verse 2]
The papers print his picture
Almost everywhere he goes
Elon Muskrat opens factories
Elon Muskrat doin’ blow
The world is just his party
An albino on a yacht,
Oh he surely must be happy
With everything he’s got
[Chorus]
But I…
I am his lonely child
And I curse the life I’m living
And I curse posterity
And I wish that I could flee
Oh I wish that I could flee
Oh I wish that I could flee
Elon Muskrat
[Verse 3]
He bought Twitter with his spare change
Then brought it to its knees
Frightened off the adverts:
Sympathetic to Nazis
And they thanked him very much
So my mind was filled with wonder
When the evening headlines read
“Elon Muskrat went home last night
And bored a bullet through his head”
[Chorus]
But I…
I work in his factory
And I curse the life I’m living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be
Oh I wish that I could be
Someone other than Nazi
Elon Muskrat
This one comes pretty close:
You got drunk at my birthday party and passed out in the cake
But not before you asked my boss’ wife if her boobs were fake.
We spent a week in the Poconos. You let my car roll off the pier.
Merry Christmas, Asshole.
You’ve ruined another year.
You ordered fifty pairs of boots and you used my bank account.
You took your bonus to the dog races and lost the entire amount.
Then you resigned so you could work full time on your animal balloon career.
Merry Christmas, Asshole.
You’ve ruined another year.
——————————————————————————————
Wish I could take credit but the song is by Brennan Lee
It’s a song in the style of a 1950s country Christmas hit; deserves a place in the top 10.
https://brennenleigh.bandcamp.com/track/merry-christmas-asshole
Tune: Richard Cory
[Verse 1]
They say that Elon Muskrat owns
One-half of this whole town
With political connections
To spread his wealth around
Born into society
Dad owned an emerald mine
He had everything a man could want
Too bad he had no style
[Chorus]
But I work in his factory
And I curse the life I’m living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be
Oh I wish that I could be
Oh I wish that I could be
Elon Muskrat
[Verse 2]
The papers print his picture
Almost everywhere he goes
Elon Muskrat opens factories
Elon Muskrat doin’ blow
The world is just his party
An albino on a yacht,
Oh he surely must be happy
With everything he’s got
[Chorus]
But I…
I am his lonely child
And I curse the life I’m living
And I curse posterity
And I wish that I could flee
Oh I wish that I could flee
Oh I wish that I could flee
Elon Muskrat
[Verse 3]
He bought Twitter with his spare change
Then brought it to its knees
Frightened off the adverts:
Sympathetic to Nazis
And they thanked him very much
So my mind was filled with wonder
When the evening headlines read
“Elon Muskrat went home last night
And bored a bullet through his head”
[Chorus]
But I…
I work in his factory
And I curse the life I’m living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be
Oh I wish that I could be
Someone other than Nazi
Elon Muskrat
Bob Seger already penned the perfect words to match the pic of that privileged, pea-brained punk:
See the rich man lost and lonely
Watch him as he dines
Sitting there just testing all the wines
‘Til it shines…