Vote: Whiny, delusional douchebag of the century.

Elon Musk has thrown his hat in the ring for Douchebag of the Century. After apologizing for his Nazi tweet, he doubled down on his reputation of “most awful person not in elected office”. In a meandering, barely coherent interview conducted at the, um, what does it say here? um, the New York Times Dealbook Summit (!!), Musk went completely off the rails and told his advertisers to go fuck themselves.

“I don’t want them to advertise. If someone is going to blackmail me with advertising or money go fuck yourself. Go. Fuck. Yourself. Is that clear? Hey Bob, if you’re in the audience, that’s how I feel” he added, referring to Disney CEO Bob Iger.”

Musk said he has no problem being hated. “Hate away. There’s a real weakness to wanting to be liked.”

No worries there, Elon.

With his latest public vomitous explosion, Musk has officially pulled ahead of George Santos in the race for most pathetic whiny douchbag of the 21st century. Santos ruined his otherwise sterling reputation as a Brazilian drag queen, pickpocket, and check kiter, by lowering himself to join the US House of Representatives. The Douchebag race with Musk is not really a fair fight, of course, as Santos has already used up his alotted 15 minutes and is now rapidly on his way to perpetual obscurity.

But Musk has a long way to go to ketchup catch up to the still undisputed king of whiny douchebaggery, a man whose name need not be expressed. In fact, he was heard exclaiming, “I’m ahead. By a LOT.”

Although Musk remains in a distant second place, there is still time for him to blow past all competitors (like a Cybertruck in a runaway self-driving mode) and he may stay in the lead permanently. After all, he is the only major competitor who has not committed known felonies and may end 2024 as the only one not in jail. Unless, of course, those dirty Jews find a way to take him down like they do all white men.

I look forward to Musk re-tweeting the above and declaring that I have “stated the actual truth”.


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