“I stole credit cards from my supporters and all I got was this lousy wardrobe!”

George Santos, formerly an astronaut, hedge fund billionaire, and queen of England, and soon to be convicted felon, has for once actually accomplished a near-impossible feat of historic consequence: he has been expelled from the US House of Representatives. It’s an accomplishment so rare that it had been done only twice since the Civil War, and only by two already convicted felons.

George was so flustered that he couldn’t decide between maroon jacket over navy sweater, or navy jacket over maroon sweater. In the end, the most important thing was to cover his tie and leave his white collar exposed so he could start his new vocation as Anglican vicar.

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6 months ago

Yup, kind of up there with Jim Traficant. I remember that guy … what a big mouth.

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