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Perlinator
Famed Member
Perlinator(@perlinator)
1 month ago

It’s in the Buy-bull!

David-and-Goliath-story-moral
Perlinator
Famed Member
Perlinator(@perlinator)
1 month ago

v v v v v v v v

Knowledge-is-a-Sin-01
IntrovertMissesLockdown
Member
IntrovertMissesLockdown(@introvertmisseslockdown)
1 month ago

Can you even imagine going to a church and being shown some old nasty piece of something and being told it was the foreskin of jesus? Gross!
Also I learned it is called The Holy Prepuce, Which sounds fitting.

JGorn
Admin
Famed Member
JGorn(@admin)
1 month ago

ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Foreskin of Jesus! ‘Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him. Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Foreskin!

MONKS: Iesu Domine, praeputium tuum nobis praebe. Iesu Domine, percutite inimicos nostros. Iesu Domine carissime, nobis praeputium tuum accommodes. Carissime Iesu Domine, sapias eas cum illo.

ARTHUR: How does it, um—how does it work?

LANCELOT: I know not, my liege.

ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Mutilations!

BROTHER MAYNARD: Mutilations, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.

SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the Foreskin up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy Foreskin that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu—

MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.

SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Foreskin and stroke it. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Foreskin of Jesus towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

MAYNARD: Amen.

KNIGHTS: Amen.

ARTHUR: Right! One… two… five!

Last edited 1 month ago by JGorn
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