Hyper-vaccinated man fails to die

In a setback to the antivaxx cause, a 62 year old German man from Magdeburg had himself vaccinated 217 times over a span of 29 months, yet failed to die. The man has never gotten a COVID infection, nor did he report any vaccine-related side effects.

His efforts were not official. Rather, his motivations appear to have been financial. After being caught, it was speculated that he was selling vaccination cards to third parties during a time when many European countries required proof of vaccination. In the end, no criminal charges were brought.

RFK, Jr., wards off evil spirits seeping through the pores of the vaccinated.

Researchers analyzed the man’s blood, but found no abnormalities. His immune system appeared to function normally. His hypervaccination increased the quantity of T cells and B cells but did not affect the quality of the adaptive immune system, according to their study. In other words, his results were not notably distinct from people undergoing the normal, recommended vaccine regimen.

In total, the man got eight vaccine formulations, including mRNA vaccines from Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna, a vector-based vaccine from Johnson & Johnson and a recombinant-protein vaccine from Sanofi.

Still unknown: the long-term effects of having 217 different tracking chips circulating in his body. Only time will tell. Word is that a horrified Robert Kennedy, Jr., plans to launch an investigation.

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