A beheaded chicken may run around for twenty or thirty seconds before realizing it’s dead, but even a chicken is smarter than Ron DeSantis. Ron has been a dead man walking since the orange DoTard announced his 2024 campaign on November 15, 2022, but Ron only figured it out and “suspended” his campaign today, January 21, 2024. That means Meatball has been running in circles gushing blood from his gaping neck hole for over 14 months.
To be accurate, Meatball wasn’t a dead chicken until the next day, November 16, when DoTard belittled him and labeled him Meatball Ron, and Meatball’s response to that was… nothing. Out of the sheer terror of angering MAGAts, Ron could not even muster a retort as strong as “I know you are, but what am I?” Since 2016, retreat is the default position of all GOP aspirants to DoTard’s throne. (Even accomplished bully Chris Christie would only attack DoTard during interviews, but almost never while on the debate stage in front of MAGAts.) They have not yet figured out that the thing MAGAts hate the most are mealy-mouthed cowards. They love bravado, no matter how false, so nothing is to be gained by playing the chicken.
And chickens may not have much pride, but no self-respecting beheaded cock would praise his murderer. After all, did John Bobbit praise Lorena? Yet, upon announcing his campaign suspension, Meatball endorsed the man who named him Meatball and DeSanctimonious.
Note: Yes, there are mixed metaphors in this post, but I never metaphor I didn’t like.