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The Rapture was predicted to be “imminent” many times in history. A book published in 1968 lists Biblical “signs” that the world of that period was the most sinful in history. One piece of evidence of shocking, unprecedented sin was this: a nightclub comedian used a lot of foul language.
Well, I’m convinced! There were no foul-mouthed nightclub comedians during the middle ages, but there was one in 1968! Therefore, 1968 was more sinful and decadent than any other time in human history. Jesus should return very soon; perhaps by 1970 or 1971. Probably no later than 1972.
Here’s a song for the Rapture, to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”:
You better not pout,
You better not cry,
You better watch out,
I’m telling you why.
Jesus Christ is coming back down.
He sees you when you’re sleeping,
He knows when you’re awake;
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake.
You better not pout,
You better not cry,
You better watch out,
I’m telling you why.
Jesus Christ is coming back down.
Woohoo for zip-line zipping!
Oh, good. The Rapture is on a Friday. I can stay up and see it. So glad it’s not on a Monday. I’d hate to miss it because I have to work Tuesday. My commute will be nice and light.
Jeebus took some powerful drugs!